Tag Archives: Pregnancy

Wisdom You’ve Passed On – July 27

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Blog Carnival for 2012. For more information on the Breastfeeding Cafe, check out this site. If you would like to participate in this year’s carnival, just post on your personal blog and put a link in the comment section below.  To receive email updates for next year, contact Timbra landslidephotography {at} hotmail {dot} com. Today’s post is about the wisdom you’ve passed on to others. Please read the other posts in today’s carnival listed in the comments section of this post. The Carnival runs July 16th through the 31st!

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Jasmine Jafferali, MPH, ACE-CPT is a Lifestyle and Wellness Consultant specializing in perinatal, maternal, infant and family health and fitness.  Her focus is on gluten free/allergy free cooking and baking and improving gut health. It is her personal mission to raise her children to be healthy and happy. She wants to help you do the same and to empower you to make realistic and healthy choices for you and your families. Jasmine lives in Chicago with her husband, Jeff, and their children, Lilly and Luke.   Jasmine enjoys working out, being outdoors and spending time with her family.  You can find her at www.healthyjasmine.com

Today’s Prompt:  We all know someone who feels like no one ever “warned” them what life would be like during pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, early weeks of sleeplessness, toddlerhood, etc. What parenting and breastfeeding wisdom have you shared?

My guess right now is you have either under or over estimated what pregnancy, birth.breastfeeding or motherhood will be like.  I know I did.  Even with all the education and knowledge I have, it doesn’t compare to what life experience has to give to us.  Take the tools you have learned and make it your own to share and pass along any insightful wisdom you can.  As when you share your wisdom, it gets passed down along for futures to come.  I share with you my story:

  

Five years ago today at 1:13am, I became a mother.  An intended homebirth, 36 hours of labor, I ended up in the hospital with a c-section.  My daughter humbled me as I laid in the hospital bed stuck at 7cm, resting comfortably with an epidural.  Looking at the monitor I closed my eyes and said, “God, apparently you have bigger plans than MY birth plan, whatever it is, I surrender.”  I also told my husband this baby was a feisty one, I could tell. 

I was one of those know it all, I would never do this when I get pregnant or when I become a mom type of girl.  You know, the 13-year old who knows it all and ready to move out.  Yes, that was me.  Because I had a Master’s in Public Health reading studies on maternal and infant health…because I personal trained expecting moms….then they began to ask me breastfeeding questions.  Oh curve ball.  I proactively took it a step further and signed up for a 3 day Lactation Education Course by Jan Barger, yes the guru of breastfeeding.  After all of those breastfeeding pictures, I was scared to breastfeed, but wow, I learned so much that I thought I would have breastfeed my kids way past one.  Oh yes, then I am going to eat healthy and exercise every day.  Hello morning and night sickness and 45 pounds later…after my unsuccessful homebirth, I thought breastfeeding should be a snap.  Oh hi mastitis in early August during 100 degree weather…I thought I was in hell and so did my husband when I asked him to turn on the heat with 5 blankets on me… Then I read all the sleeping books…walking in Target with toothpicks holding my eyes up, I walked out with the mother of all sleeping books…Weisbluth’s book.  I intended to cloth diaper…ha seriously, so I bought greener ones…I made my own baby food…sometimes.  When my milk supply started to go down (and Yes, I did everything I could that I knew how, I had fantastic lactation consultants), I succumbed to formula when my daughter was 9 months, but still hell bent on nursing her.  That is until my daughter nursed for the last time two weeks before her first birthday.  I remember she nursed for a few minutes that morning, got up and walked away.  I felt heartbroken like she broke up with me.  The next morning I went to the chair and she snubbed me.  I guess we are done I thought.

You see, no one can ever tell you what life will be like pregnant, what birth will feel like, what breastfeeding will do for you, you just have to experience it for yourself.  It humbles you, it makes you a better person.  After all I have endured with my two pregnancies, (I am a been there done that girl now) I am still a strong supporter of homebirths, even though my failed, big fan natural births, I am a big advocate of VBACs, even though mine resulted in a uterine rupture, and heck yes, I feel all should be breastfeeding and beyond, even though I gave my daughter formula, but nursed my son until he was 16 months old (small victories).  My daughter is an angel compared to my son during toddler years and can’t parent or discipline the same, they are two different kids.  But here is what I can tell you:

Pregnancy:  Get your Vitamin D levels checked, take your food-based prenatals along with fish oils and probiotics daily.  Yes aim to eat something healthy every day, stretch, exercise, get good quality sleep.  And for heaven’s sake, don’t take a hospital birthing class, even if you opt for the epidural, you will learn all of your options from all perspectives, not just one. 

Postpartum:  Except your postpartum body, it will be gone within weeks.  Don’t dwell so soon on getting your pre baby body back, you’ll set yourself up for heartache.  Embrace the new one you have created and focus on getting healthier each day.  Set up meal registry.  You need to be fed and nourished because you won’t want to cook, trust me.  This gives friends and family a way to help take care of you and see the baby.  Make sure you have a few loads of unfolded laundry beside you so they can fold it for you while you are nursing. 

Birth:  Don’t have a “birth plan”, make a wish list.  Nurses will roll their eyes at you behind your back.  A wish list is all the things you wish to have as part of your birthing experience as well as after the baby is born.  A wish list allows for Plan B and C. 

Early Sleepless Nights:  Don’t start complaining if your child is not sleeping through the night at 4-weeks old and if they do, enjoy it and don’t tell the others, because you need new mom friends.

Toddlerhood:  Yes, give your tot good, whole foods to continue eating healthy.  Goldfish crackers is crack for kids, please don’t buy the stuff.  I bought tons of frozen fruits and veggies my daughter ate right out of the bag, until she was almost two…but now she is a wonderful eater and will try everything at least once.  My son, he hit the picky eater stage…my daughter did too, but I was persistent and consistent with her and it paid off.   Fingers crossed for my son. 

Breastfeeding:  You milk is as good as your are feeding your body well.  What you eat gets passed down to your baby.  Don’t eat foods that our bodies was not designed to digest.  And Yes, give it a shot.  Yes you will feel like a cow, yes it will feel like it is the only thing you are doing the first few months and yes it will hurt…in the beginning.  Find a great lactation consultant to work with you.  Do not worry if your baby is getting enough.  Babies are so intuitive they’ll let you know if they are hungry and when they are full.  Breastfeeding is a small phase out of your entire life to give your baby something so important for their gut health, which they will pass down to their children someday.  Perhaps register for an iPad so you can keep up on social media and your reading while you are nursing.  It was a blessing for me the second time around. 

Parenting:  Here is what I will tell you.  Take a family/parenting class.  I will never understand why parents feel this is not necessary.  We take continuing education credits for our jobs, to advance positions, get a better job, to be better at our jobs…but don’t you want to be the best parent you can be?  So why not a parenting course?  My husband and I took a weekend family class at a local church during my second pregnancy and found it to be quite helpful.  I still go back now and read about trying different approaches to my kids, but also taking a deeper look at who they are as individuals, their needs as children, my phase of life, my relationship with my husband, it all has an impact in who we are as parents, but also how we parent. 

Whatever season of life you are in, embrace it, extend yourself some grace and give your children some grace too.  You are learning from them while they are learning from you.  That is the beauty of parenting.  Use nice words, lead by example, practice patience, listen, be thankful, show compassion and trust yourself.  Don’t get hung up on trying to be the perfect parent because you don’t know what perfect is anyways.

 

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Filed under Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival, Community, Pregnancy, The Normal Course of Breastfeeding

Blog Carnival

This year’s blog carnival will be handled in this manner: it will run from July 16- 31, we have 16 GUEST bloggers, they will post on the main site each day at the Breastfeeding Cafe, if you would also like to post on this topic you can post a link to your blog in the comments section of said post.

 

 Blog Carnival Topics:

There are many customs around the world that bond mother and child, none so much as the bond of breastfeeding. In all ages past, breastfeeding has been the norm and we can look to points in history when things changed, even seeing WHY there has been a shift away from breastfeeding, which was never the initial intent. This year’s Breastfeeding Cafe theme is “Breastfeeding Time Machine: Age Old Wisdom to feed the future.” We can look to many other cultures and our own, to see the effects of this age old wisdom, and a return to “how things once were.” Our topics will be focused on this theme as it relates to our culture, other cultures around the world with regards to birth practices, baby wearing, nursing in public, weaning ages/stories, our own experience as breastfed (or not) infants/children, what we’ve learned from mothers before us, what we are teaching those we influence in our lives, how our own wisdom through nursing has changed from one child to the next, how night time parenting effects breastfeeding, and how breastfeeding has helped you to make choices about your family’s values surrounding parenting, which could even include decisions about work, school, nutrition, etc. Thank you for participating! I would also LOVE to see some of us talking to our own mothers/grandmothers, older women around us, to get perspective on this “age old wisdom.”

July 16th: Share your birth experience and how you feel it shaped your first breastfeeding experience, or experiences with each child. Talk with your mother or grandmother, and hear other birth stories (share them too).

 July 17th: What was your first nursing in public experience? How did this shape your view of breastfeeding and your breastfeeding relationship with your child? Did your mother or grandmother have the same types of experiences?

July 18th: Wordless Wednesday Nursing Photos PLEASE be sure to include photos of your grandmothers or mothers nursing, if you have them!

July 19th: Babywearing is common in many parts of the world and has been for centuries. Do you wear your baby? Why? Have you found it has an effect on your breastfeeding relationship? Did someone else suggest you wear your baby? Did you observe babywearing before becoming a mother? Did your mother or grandmother ever practice baby wearing?

July 20th: Night Time parenting is a big part of breastfeeding, especially in the early months (and continuing for years sometimes). What does sleep look like in your family? Did you have a similar sleeping arrangement with your own parents? What were your feelings surrounding safety and security at night while growing up? Were there people in your life who encouraged you to choose your sleeping arrangement?

 July 21st: Weaning is such a personal choice for each family. In many cultures around the world, children are allowed to choose the time of their weaning, which can be up to 7 or 8 years old. Did you nurse into toddler or childhood yourself? If weaning has or is taking place with your child, what does it look like? Did you expect this?

July 22nd: Were you breastfed as a child? What about your mother?  What obstacles did your mother/grandmother face? What was the public opinions? Family opinion? Factors for not breastfeeding, if this was the case? What was the medical opinion at the time? How long was “normal?” Did your mother or grandmother influence you to breastfeed your own child/ren

July 23rd: Wisdom may be passed down to us from prior generations or just from friends who have already been there. Did you receive any “sage” wisdom from a mother in your life, prior to becoming one yourself? Not all people are so bold as to share their wisdom, what INFLUENCES in your life lead to your decision to breastfeed your child/ren? Was breastfeeding something you saw in your family? What were your feelings about breastfeeding before nursing your own babies?

July 24th: Male perspective day: Talk with (or ask him as a guest blogger) your partner, your father (or ask your mother what your father thought), or another man who has experience with observing breastfeeding (at close range) and get his perspective on social pressures, wisdom, feelings about breastfeeding before becoming a father, what he’s learned, importance of breastfeeding for his family, etc.

 July 25th: Wordless Wednesday Baby Wearing 

 July 26th: We all knew EXACTLY what type of mother we’d be before we became one, right? How has becoming a mother changed your views of motherhood? Have you made different decisions about your family values? About duration of your nursing relationship? Your sleeping situation? School? Work? Nutrition?

July 27th: We all know someone who feels like no one ever “warned” them what life would be like during pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, early weeks of sleeplessness, toddlerhood, etc. What parenting and breastfeeding wisdom have you shared?

July 28th: Why is breastfeeding Important to YOU and your family?

July 29th: Have you nursed in special circumstances? Did you feel supported or like you were paving your own path? If your circumstance included a lot of medical procedures and staff, did you get interesting, strange or just BAD advice from medical staff? Family members? Or did you have support? Where would you encourage moms to go if they were in a similar situation?

July 30th: If you have more than one child, how have you become wiser :)? How did your first nursing experience shape your thoughts, ideas, plans, views, etc for your future nursing experiences?

July 31st: Prior Generation Day: interview someone, or ask someone to guest blog on your own blog today, who breastfed a child in a generation prior to yours and share their story (you can change names to protect the innocent). Find out about the medical opinions, cultural opinion, family opinion, social views of the time and especially how THAT mother felt about breastfeeding her baby!

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Breastfeeding My Toddler Through Pregnancy

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today’s post is about breastfeeding when you have more than one child. Please read the other blogs in today’s carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!
 


 
I am currently I am 15 weeks pregnant with my second child and continuing to breastfeed my almost 18 month old daughter. It has had its challenges so far, but definitely been worth it. People most often ask me when I plan to wean my daughter and what I will do once the baby comes and my first daughter still wants to nurse.

For those who understand our point of view on the importance of breastfeeding, I say I don’t plan to wean unless my daughter chooses to on her own, and I personally hope to be able to tandem nurse both children. I also get asked alot if its uncomfortable to continue breastfeeding. I know this can be different for everyone, and although I can find it uncomfortable at times, it’s never painful and I have ways of keeping my mind off any discomfort I experience. I find that I do need to eat more often, and feel more tired (I usually hae to have at least 9-10 hours of sleep) but these are also side effects of being pregnant and not neccessarily due to breastfeeding.

Overall, the benefit to continuing to breastfeed my daughter is definitely worth any cons there are to doing so. I have continued to have a wonderful, personal relationship with my daughter that few women in our society (while pregnant) get to experience anymore. I believe that this has led her to be more emotionally secure and self-confident, which will continue to make a difference throughout her entire life. My daughter is rarely unhappy, has a very strong confident personality, and is very intellectually bright. I cannot imagine how different my daughter would be if we didn’t have the strong breastfeeding relationship that we do.

Today’s guest post is from Heather Simpson. Heather is a stay-at-home mother living in Sandy with her husband and 18-month old daugther Chloe and is expecting another child. She enjoys attending La Leche League meetings, reading, baking, and speding time with her family and attachment-parenting her daughter.
 


 
Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

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