Journey of One Father – July 24

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Blog Carnival for 2012. For more information on the Breastfeeding Cafe, check out this site. If you would like to participate in this year’s carnival, just post on your personal blog and put a link in the comment section below.  To receive email updates for next year, contact Timbra landslidephotography {at} hotmail {dot} com. Today’s post is about the journey of one father as he came to accept and appreciate the benefits of breastfeeding. Please read the other posts in today’s carnival listed in the comments section of this post. The Carnival runs July 16th through the 31st!

 

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Jared Lewandowski is the father of five children. He has been married to his beautiful wife for over 12 years and has had the wonderful opportunity to watch each one grow up with the wonderful benefits of breastfeeding.

 

For me as a father, breastfeeding has not always been easy. I struggled with many aspects of it and it wasn’t until I began learning about what breastfeeding was that it became easier to not only understand, but also truly appreciate. In this post, I will touch on the most difficult issue for me, nursing in public. Once I understood how powerful the connection between mother and baby was when built upon that special bond that can only be made through the intimacy of breastfeeding, it became my responsibility as a father to ensure its place in our daily family life.

 

My wife always knew she would breastfeed her children. It was never officially discussed as husband and wife, but I could tell in her eyes that she was serious about this decision and I was not going to be one to argue a point otherwise. After our first child was born, I immediately noticed that she would always be holding him. He would never be more than a few feet from her at all times. She would hold him, nurse him, he would go play for a few minutes, then come back and nurse again. I watched in amazement at first, for it was truly a sight to behold. I could see that this baby knew who his mother was.

 

Over the next fifteen months, this baby grew… and grow he did! As he got bigger, nursing became more of a challenge for us. We would go out to social get-togethers and he would want to nurse – without a blanket. My wife would do her best to keep him concealed with one, but he would do his best to make sure he could see those around him and try his best to move it out of the way. This was extremely difficult for me. The thought of another person catching a glance at my wife’s breast was not something I was comfortable with… at all. I brought my concerns up to her immediately and we discussed my concerns at length. After some time, I realized that my wife and I felt the same way about this issue, and she has and always would do her best to nurse appropriately in any circumstance or situation. We both agreed it was better for the baby to not feel ashamed, than it was for me to be overprotective or jealous. And after twelve years of nursing, I can honestly say that not once did I feel she was waving a big sign around saying, “Look at me!” while she was nursing. It was always intimate and beautiful, and I felt deeply proud to be her husband and the father of each child.

 

In 2002, my wife became a certified breastfeeding peer counselor for WIC. From there, she taught me so much about the benefits of breastfeeding. But even more than that, I have watched my kids go from baby to toddler to teenager, and it has been such a wonderful thing to watch the amazing influence breastfeeding has had on them. They are healthy, happy (most of the time), and smart. But most of all, they have known from the day they were born that they are loved.  They have been hardwired with security and stability that cannot be matched. Confidence has become instinct in all that they do. And with that in mind, it is my hope that every father out there will support his wife in her decision to breastfeed.

 

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2 Comments

Filed under Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival, Community, The Normal Course of Breastfeeding

2 responses to “Journey of One Father – July 24

  1. This Dad is not alone in his concerns about NIP. My husband had to overcome his stuff in order to support me. How exciting that a new generation of men (two of our four kiddos are sons) is learning that breasts are for babies first, and that our daughters are learning that such men exist and that these are the kind of men they can seek for long-term relationships.
    Here is Bruss’ perspective on breastfeeding
    http://www.sweetpeabirths.com/blog/2012/07/24/A-Fathers-Perspective-on-Breastfeeding.aspx

  2. timbra

    this was a great dad perspective. . .thank you so much for sharing with us!

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